MY LIFE IS NOT MY OWN

"I am leaving you with a gift - peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give - so don't be troubled or afraid." John 14:27

Last night was one of the darker moments in my walk with the Lord. When I read this verse, I thought to myself, "Is this a sick joke, or what?" I was in a foul mood, frustrated, angry, full of malice. I pictured myself at the throne of God, hurling my circumstances and yelling, "Here! It's all yours! YOU do something. I'M DONE." As I ranted before the Lord, vomiting up all the emotional rot in my soul, I felt the steadfastness of the Lord. He was quiet, unmoved. I pictured myself standing in front of him saying, "Okay, then."

The interesting characteristic of pride is the feeling of self-justification. Eventhough I felt justified, there's that small spot in my spirit that KNOWS "something's not quite right."

After venting and raging at the Lord, I got on my knees and opened up my Bible to finish up the scheduled reading for the day, Jeremiah 10. This is where my wise, kind, and patient Father had me open up to: It is Jeremiah praying for a sinful nation...

"I know, Lord, that our lives are not our own. We are not able to plan our own course. So correct me, Lord, but please be gentle." Jeremiah 10:23

Oops. Oh yeah. MY LIFE IS NOT MY OWN. There is an incomparable emotion that touches the soul when the Lord speaks. It is a feeling of love, compassion and restoration, even when it is a word of correction. It is his kindness that leads us to repentance.

"I will do what is required of me, so that the world will know that I love the father. Come, let's be going." John 14:31