World Hunger

I have heard that starvation is one of the most miserable ways to perish: the slow digestion of one's self. I have seen this pain in the eyes of the homeless, yet it is the starvation of the soul that I have become acutely aware of in the passing years. It is the lacking of self-worth, compassion, joy and hope along with the diminishing of all that is sacred. Every generation seems to one-up the generation prior in the sense of depravity. I often squirm as I watch movies filled with random violence and sex. While violence can usually be differentiated between right vs. wrong or fictional vs. fantasy, I think that for those who lack the ability to be in a blessed, love-filled marriage, it is virtually impossible to know the difference between the sacred, beautiful gift of true intimacy to that of the lust and carnal passion on the screen.

I often feel surrounded by people who are unknowingly starving themselves, spiritually. I have tasted the poison of discontent that causes people to starve themselves of all that is spiritually good. It is Spiritual Anorexia. All the joy, blessing and richness of life lay before us, yet we choose to starve; finding fault, choosing isolation and pride over humility, compassion and generosity.

I have watched my husband continue to give to me when he is exasperated with my narrow, futile, small-mindedness; I have known the generosity of his forced humility when he emotionally reaches for me even when I take my stand on stubborn pride. It is at these moments of his sacrificial love that my missionary/best-friend/companion/husband has spoon fed my starving soul. I have heard that "Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic." I believe that I am a forever recovering spiritual anorexic. I know what is right, healthy and good, yet my spirit that is filled with both self-loathing and self-glorification struggles for control.

The love of my husband has been like experiencing Jesus' love and acceptance of Mary Magdalene. My God-possessed partner has spoon fed me back to life. He teaches me the disciplines that lead to strength and freedom. Always by actions and rarely by words. As I become healthier, I am learning to give, too. To share, to embrace, to hear and to see other's needs beyond my own. It is in THIS PLACE that true intimacy and spiritual wholeness become one.

There isn't a Red Cross to send money to for the aid of those who are spiritually starving, but I can pray. I have felt the violence of prayer: spiritual walls of darkness tremble and collapse so that the love of God can reach those who are starving and enslaved.

God himself is teaching me to spoon-feed others. He is teaching me humility. Gentleness. The key? To love God and others more than myself. I was once consumed with just MY needs (and I may forever be in recovery), but God, through my husband rescued me. I am now in training for the rescue of others.