Masterpiece

It’s been 10 years since I’ve had a desire to journal. I experience feelings so deep and so beautiful, it somehow seems to cheapen the richness to share it publicly, yet today is different. If I don’t write, I feel like I will burst.

Mike and I just spent 9 days in Italy. It was wonderful to see historic sites and museums, to walk the streets and eat great food. But something beautiful exploded in my heart on this trip.

While skiing in the Dolomites, I feel like I experienced God in a way I never have before. I saw him in the mountains. I saw him in the sunlight shining on the peaks. I saw his reflection in the clouds and in the sunset. My heart ached from the beauty of all I saw.

There are a hand full of times that I have heard God speak to me. Not with just a feeling, but actually Speak to me. With each time, I was changed forever.

On our last day of skiing, there were lines of people waiting for lifts. I was crammed into a crowd. I could feel the frustration of people all around me. I could hear the chatter of different languages. Italian, German, French. I wanted to enjoy the moment and to truly be present in the moment, so I looked up at the beauty of the mountains. I shifted from being crammed in a line to seeing His beauty.

I told God, “I see you. You are beautiful beyond description.” I never expected him to respond, but he spoke into my mind and heart these words that I will carry forever. He said to me, “ Look down and around you.” I looked away from the mountains and saw the crowds of people around me. He then said, “This is my masterpiece and they are more spectacular than all the mountains, sunsets and skies of the entire world.” I felt his love. I looked at the older man to my left and I felt God’s Love for him. I looked at the younger man in front of me and I saw his beauty through God’s Love. I also felt his deep love for me and knew he was telling me that I too was more beautiful than the mountains that took my breath away.

In the middle of this sacred moment, I realized I was no longer in line with Mik (our wonderful guide for our trip) and Mike. I suddenly felt a flash of fear in the middle of all these people speaking a language I didn’t understand. And then I heard Mik’s gentle voice behind me, “I am here Alice.”

I wanted to weep. Tears are running down my face even as I write, because in those words, it wasn’t just Mik. The feeling of safety, the feeling of being with someone who knows the mountain like his own hand, of someone who knows my language but also all the languages around me, was God speaking to my heart.

As I grow older, there are small fears that drift on the perimeter of my thoughts. I don’t dwell on them but I feel their presence. What if my health fails? What if Mike dies and I’m all alone? What if..

In preparing for this ski trip, I was worried. I ski because Mike LOVES to ski. I hate being the one to slow him down. I ski as fast as I can so he doesn’t have to wait for me. This trip was different. Our guide, Mik told us the names of mountains. He described the tiny Refugios hidden away in places we wouldn’t have seen. He pointed out places he had climbed in the summer and in the ice of winters. The mountains were no longer just beautiful formations. I imagined touching them, knowing them and seeing them through the eyes of my friend. I no longer skied down the mountain as fast as I could.

In the moment I heard Mik’s voice tell me, “I am here, Alice,” I felt God’s presence. I had been skiing with this guide for 5 days and although many times he was ahead of me showing me the way, he somehow was right there when I fell. There was a moment when I was skiing down an icy and steep part of the mountain and felt out of control. I thought Mik and Mike were way ahead of me, but the moment I passed the icy patch, Mik skied past me and I realized he had been with me the whole time even though I had felt alone.

I know that Mik has no idea that God used  him to touch my heart in such a deep way. His humble and quiet strength refreshed my soul. I cried all day after we said goodbye to him.  Just  as the mountains and skies have no idea of how beautiful they are, this man has no idea of the beauty he possesses. He is God’s masterpiece. Through him, I heard the most beautiful words from my creator. “I am here, Alice.”

HONORED & LOVED

"Others were given in exchange for you. I traded their lives for yours because you are precious to me. You are honored, and I love you." Isaiah 43:4

Though written thousands of years ago to the people of Israel, I know that the eternal truths of these words ring just as true today to God's people as they did then. To read God's words telling me that I am precious, honored and loved is more than I can comprehend. I feel like I need to let these words soak into my heart. I am precious, honored and loved by GOD, my creator. I pray that my life would reflect the One who loves me.

Lord, as I shift my eyes and heart towards you and acknowledge your love and sacrifice, I am deeply humbled. I receive and embrace your love for me. Forgive me for always feeling that I'm not enough or less than what I should be. I pray that the TRUTH of who I am: precious, honored and loved, would become the heart and soul of my being. Thank you, Jesus, for the giving of your life for mine. I love you with all that is within me. Amen

AM I A REFUGE?

"Each man will be like a shelter from the wind and a refuge from the storm, like streams of water in the desert and the shadow of a great rock in a thirsty land." Isaiah 32:2

The footnote in my Bible says, "The Lord's redeemed, as sources of protection and blessing, will reflect Him." What a powerful thought! I am to be a reflection of the Lord by being a shelter, refuge, stream and shade for others, just like He is for me! ME? Yes. Absolutely. It excites me to think that it is the Lord's desire to use me to touch people's lives the way he touches mine!

Lord, I always look to you as my refuge. I would LOVE to reflect you and be used by you to be a refuge to others and to lead them to the One who is MY refuge. May I always give YOU the glory. May every good thing I do be a reflection of who YOU are and of the beautiful faith that fills my life with peace. In Jesus' name, Amen

"Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by what I do." James 2:18

PERSEVERANCE

"Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him." James 1:4-5

When "life" gets hard, my first reaction is always the same: RUN! Relationships, jobs, goals and dreams that lose their excitement and fun factor are easily eliminated from my life when the newness wears off, but when the Lord has called me to stand firm, to fight through it, the rewards have been immeasurable. I love my husband, my sons, my friends and family. I love God. The richness and depth of each one of those relationships can probably be measured by a level of perseverance. I still struggle in knowing when to persevere and when to let go. I hope to always be lead by God's holy wisdom.

Dear Lord, I ask for your wisdom and strength so that I would always be able to persevere. I want to stand before you and say, "I am mature, complete, lacking in nothing." Forgive me for my weakness of heart. Help me to see beyond the moment so that I may live my life with the fullness that only comes through perseverance. Amen

THINK DIFFERENTLY

"The Lord has given me a strong warning not to think like everyone else does. He said, 'Don't call everything a conspiracy, like they do, and don't live in dread of what frightens them. Make the Lord of Heaven's Armies holy in your life. He is the one you should fear. He is the one who should make you tremble. He will keep you safe.'" Isaiah 8:11-13

I've spent all afternoon thinking about this verse. I prayed and asked God to show me the areas that he wants me to "think differently." As I reread the verses, I think that the key to thinking differently than the rest of the world is in the following verse, "Make the Lord...holy in your life." It takes discipline for me to keep him in a holy, sacred place in my life. When HE IS THE CENTER of my life, I feel the balance, the peace and the strength that enables me to respond differently than I normally would. I take it to heart when any part of the Bible contain the words, "The Lord has given me a strong warning." I loved it when I continued to the New Testament reading for the day: Hebrews 8. I wanted to cheer when I read what God promises:

"I will put my laws in their minds, and I will write them on their hearts. I will be their God and they will be my people." Hebrews 8:10

To the Lord of Heaven's Armies, I acknowledge you as the Holiest part of my life. I ask that you would teach me to think, respond and live the way YOU want me to and not as the rest of the world does. In every part of my life, I ask for a readjusting of beliefs so that I would be aligned with what is holy and true. Help me to always take your warnings to heart. In Jesus' name, Amen

UNFAILING LOVE

"...You delight in showing unfailing love." Micah 7:18

God's love never ceases to amaze me. There is a generosity, availability and a transparency that always surprises me. Our all-powerful God delights in showing his love! He is never embarrassed that he wholeheartedly and passionately loves us, pursuing us, even to the point of death and humiliation. It is almost more than my mind and heart can grasp.

There is a quote on the website for Harvest Rock Church in Pasadena, CA. It says, "To Love Jesus, To Love Like Jesus."

Jesus, I love you with all my heart. I am always looking for you and listening for you. I ask that you would increase my vision and hearing along with my capacity for loving others. It is easy to love you; I ask that you would teach me to love like you.
In your name, Amen.

THE ANCHOR FOR MY SOUL

"Therefore, we who have fled to him for refuge can have great confidence as we hold to the hope that lies before us. This hope is a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls. It leads us through the curtain into God's inner sanctuary. Jesus has already gone in there for us. He has become our eternal High Priest in the order of Melchizekek." Hebrews 6:18--20

I LOVE these verses. When I finished reading them, I closed my Bible and held it to my heart. I could feel the words soaking into my spirit, reinforcing what I already know to be true: Jesus is my greatest hope, the ANCHOR FOR MY SOUL. I know he has lead me into God's innermost sanctuary, and in that place, I have felt the embrace of the ONE who loves me. During this past year, I deeply mourned the passing of my Dad. In the midst of my sorrow, I know that there were times I was carried into that inner sanctuary of God. I had no words. I had no prayers. I just knew that I was in the presence of Jesus. In the storms of life, I know what it feels like to be in the dark, thrashing to find a way out. I also know what it feels like to be anchored by a love that is immovable, immeasurable and everlasting.

"Whom have I in heaven but you? I desire you more than anything on earth. My health may fail and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever." Psalm 73:25-26