INTIMACY

The following excerpt is from my personal "Prayer Journal" that I read to the women who attended my workshop at the Carolinas District Retreat.

MY desire to be SALT & LIGHT is the cry of my heart: to be ALL God has created me to be; to LOVE GOD with all my heart, all my soul, all my strength and mind.

May the SALT and LIGHT of my life be the RESULT of my intimacy with GOD...not the goal.

MY life is a love-story...

Jesus, my prince, has loved me, accepted me, freed me, given me a new name. He GAVE HIS LIFE for me. His love never fails, never disappoints, never condemns.

In this LOVE STORY, my prince is the rescuer.

I once thought that this story was all about me...
"What happens to Me? What choices are best for ME? How do people affect ME? How do situations make ME feel? What's been done for ME lately? What makes ME happy?" Doesn't the world revolve around ME and MY feelings?

In the pursuit of my happiness, I found the open door to the bottomless pit of misery: selfishness, pride, greed, insecurity.

It is the spiritual addiction that never satisfies. It is blinding.

Yet, in the state of my wretchedness, my Prince, beautiful, powerful, full of love and goodness: God Almighty

rescues me...loves me...cleanses me...sings to me...listens to my heart's song
and receives the love I have to offer...

And, it is precious to Him, My Prince.

My world is rocked and suddenly ILLUMINATED by the LOVE of my Prince.

He calls me by a name only He knows.

He whispers words of LOVE and LIFE deep into my heart.

Hope is planted: carefully, patiently, gently, tenderly, lovingly.

He wants ALL his power and authority to be given to me.

How can a King, a Prince love a slave-girl and transform her into a Princess with his LOVE?

My KING, my beautiful Prince LOVES ME.

What is money, power or respect in comparison to the LOVE, FAITHFULNESS, and DEVOTION of my Prince who delights in me?

My heart is no longer my own. Joy opens my soul and I WILL NEVER AGAIN BE A SLAVE. I now have FREEDOM to dance, to sing, to love, to live, to hope.

He call me his BRIDE and He calls me, "Friend."

My name is written on the palm of His hand.

His forgiveness washes over me, cleansing me of failure, anger, bitterness, selfishness, greed, hate, remorse...

And his kindness leads me to repentance and restoration.

I am my Beloved's and He is mine.

His thoughts of me number more than the grains of sand.

THIS ONE WHO LOVES ME...stands beside me, strengthens me, lays down his own life for mine.

To KNOW, GRASP and UNDERSTAND that love is beyond my ability, yet with every failure, his sweet Spirit whispers, "You are forgiven. You are mine..."

And I begin to see and believe...
that I am indeed
LOVED.

If the CREATOR OF ALL is FOR me...who in all of heaven or earth can be against me?

My life, this mere breath of time, is my love song to Him.

Just as He gave up His throne to become a servant, to die as a ransom for me...

My HOPE, my CONSUMING PASSION is to be in the presence of MY JESUS.

The World may mock, criticize and ridicule Him, but I KNOW the ONE whom my soul loves.

He is the One who sings over me in the dark hours of the night.

I know the MARVEL and WONDER of being His Delight...
to feel His BREATH on my face.

How can I question his love for me? Yet the thoughts seep in:
Am I truly worthy? Can he hear me? Is he too busy for me? Is he angry or disappointed in me? Is he ashamed of me?
...and then I remember HIS PROMISE to me...

I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU. I WILL NEVER FORSAKE YOU. MY LOVE IS EVERLASTING.

His love letters are written in blood and hand delivered.

I boldly stand before him and ask for ALL that my heart desires:
love, security, friendship, hope, joy, peace, strength, acceptance, wholeness...

...and he answers me...

"I AM"

WHAT IS THE VALUE OF MY LIFE?

"All who heard of me praised me. All who saw me spoke well of me. For I helped the poor in their need and the orphans who had no one to help them. I helped those who had lost hope, and they blessed me. And I caused the widows' hearts to sing for joy. All I did was just and honest. Righteousness covered me like a robe, and I wore justice like a turban." Job 29:11-14


I've always struggled with the story of Job. In these verses, he's summing up all the good things he has done. In the world's view, it's a pretty admirable list. He's measuring his worth by pretty good WORKS.

What is the measure of my worth? What is the value of my life?
Is it my possessions, wisdom or accomplishments? Is it in the admiration, respect or honor bestowed on me by others? Is it in the good I do or in my faith, passion, or knowledge of God? Is it through the success of my children or the amount of time I spend in prayer? Is it in spiritual gifts or my heart of compassion and love for the lost, hungry and disheartened? Is it in the beauty of my countenance or in my lack of jealousy of others'? Is it in humility or repentance?

WHAT IS THE MEASURE OF MY LIFE?

Is it in the tombstone that will read, "ALICE REMEDIOS , 1964-? Devoted wife, mother, daughter and friend?"

I KNOW THE VALUE OF MY LIFE and who I am.

ALICE REMEDIOS, she belongs to Jesus and He belongs to her. Her name is written on the palm of his hand and His name is written on her heart.

THIS IS WHO I AM.

My value is found in the one who owns my heart. My champion, my hero, my lover, my friend. Jesus, my peace, my comfort, the ONE who knows the deepest places of my heart, both good and bad. He is the One who protects me and walks with me through darkness and light. He awaits me at the end of this life with arms wide open and when that time comes, I will give to him all that is of value and worth. In my hands I will hold out to him what is already his....my very heart.